I have experienced many times of realization that i'm a failure.
During my primary school times, i'm a boy with low self confidences and self esteem.
Born with 1 eye that can't really sees and a black ear. I'm always ashame of it.
I would hide myself from others and have only a few close friends.
I'm always the one getting the back sit and the one doing all the hard stuffs in class.(dust the blackboard, carry the chairs..etc..) I'm always the outcast of any group. No teacher care much for a boy that walks to school and have no character.
During that time, even i have a few friends i doubt they really are my friends. Maybe they are just using me to help them buy food or buy stuffs that require you to stuff in a crowd.
Even i knew it, i play along. 10 years old boy, i needed friends.
During my secondary, i got beaten up in the first week of schools by bullies. I have no friends that time. I was alone with new classmate that ran when the bullies came. I hide from them every lunch time in the library. Always afraid to go to school.
In my 21st year, i always have problem gaining new friends or meeting adults. I always have the feeling that they will look bad at me.
I can't make it...I care too much of what people think about me.
Even i can play the guitar, my low confidences is to much that i'm afraid to let people knew i can.
Until 1 day,
I woke up in the morning, A sunny Sunday morning. Birds chirping.
I opened my eyes and i started to Realize....
I started to see what i failed to see....
Everybody is the same...
Everyone is afraid....
Everyone that i thought is ahead actually is not...
Everyone that i'm afraid of them actually they are afraid themselves....
What is keeping me down and low is myself....my own mind....
If i don't love myself...how do you expect others to love you?
If you don't believe in yourself.... who is going to believe you?
If you don't give yourself confidence ...... who is going to give you?
God? Higher Being? The Titans? Thor?
No one is going to ... But yourself...
After that morning... i told myself...
Now nobody is better then you....
You're always NUMBER One...
Until today.... the puzzle came more and more that the people that i thought are great last time is now actually more poor than me.
It's like i suddenly step on a confidence booster pedal....
I felt so good now....
Don't believe?
Try me
